Southpaw Jones presents

Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

A man in the coffeehouse here was talking pretty loud on his cell phone. He was wishing someone a happy birthday, then he mentioned lunch at Taco Bell, where they have the “new Nacho Crunch Burrito.” Makes me wonder if he’s part of the new wave of ultra-guerilla marketing. After a few minutes, he’ll head to another public place to do the same thing, and Taco Bell will pay him per utterance. I don’t know, but dang it, it worked. I want one.

What is with the form & application industry? Do these people actually try a test run before publishing them? I had to fill out an application yesterday, and crimeny! Who writes that small? At one point, it asked for address and phone number, allowing a half-inch for both. Both! Yes, I like felt tips, and yes, I write as big as John Hancock, but all I ask is a little empathy. It’s like the first sick test of an employer to see how you deal with an impossible task. “This unemployed guy is used to wide open spaces, so we’re gonna give him a quarter page for his entire employment history. See how he does.” Get the fox and the farmer and the chicken and the grain across the river before the cock crows. What’s my point here? New paragraph!

Tonight, I’ll play at Café Mundi with special guests Owen Egerton & Leatherbag! This weekend, I head to Seattle, Eugene, and Portland to play shows with the fabulous Raina Rose. No liquids on the flight(s)!

Spike Gillespie presents

A look at our past, / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

One World War follows
another. Rosie rivets.
Patton rolls. We win.

Abi Tapia presents

Our own wanderlusty singer/songwriter offers a view from her lens:
This guy had the freshest (read: stinkiest) onions I had ever smelled.

Southpaw Jones presents

Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
Someone should clip Sting around the head and tell him to stop singing in that ridiculous Jamaican accent.
Elvis Costello

Southpaw Jones presents

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:
Hate for the kernelled vegetable (1 syllable each)
Highlight here for answer: [corn scorn]

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

Southpaw Jones presents

Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
I got nothin’ today. I’m gonna Larry King this bee-otch.

Select-a-size paper towels are great, but sometimes I still want something smaller. Give me perforated one-inch squares!

Why is coffee so great? When I see the cloud of half & half rise and disperse in the morning, I think, “I am lucky, wealthy man.”

You know what’s annoying about pin worms? They always run a little behind.

Little Miss Sunshine is a fine film. Tense, funny, and unflinching.

According to last night’s Daily Show, the primary right wing talking point on the war has gone from “stay the course” to “adapt to win.” Prepare to hear this from every Republican politician and Rush listener. Sounds a little Darwinian, no? Could this be the beginning of the end of American arrogance? I’m not holding my breath. Well, actually, I am, because someone cut the cheese in this coffeehouse.

Abi Tapia presents

Our own wanderlusty singer/songwriter offers a view from her lens:
One of New Orleans’ cemeteries, a good place for walking.

Spike Gillespie presents

A look at our past, / seventeen syllables and / three lines at a time:

Eighteen sixty-one:
divided we fall. Able
Lincoln unites us.

Atomic Robot presents
Wikipedioh?
What you might not know about what you might now know:
PANDO – the World’s Largest Organism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pando_%28Quaking_Aspen%29

Here’s what Wikipedia tells us:

“Pando (or The Trembling Giant[1]) is a clonal colony of a single male Quaking Aspen (Populus tremuloides) tree located in the U.S. state of Utah, all determined to be part of a single living organism by identical genetic markers,[2] and one massive underground root system. The plant is estimated to weigh collectively 6,000 tonnes (six million kilograms),[3] placing it as the heaviest known organism in existence.[4] The root system of Pando is estimated to be the oldest known living being in existence at 80,000 years of age.”

The name Pando is Latin for “I Spread.” Aspen trees don’t propagate much by seeding – their root structures simply expand and send up shoots that eventually become new trees. It looks like you’re standing in the midst of a forest of trees when, in fact, you are surrounded by one gigantic singular organism, most of which is below ground.

Here’s what Wikipedia DOESN’T tell you:

This thing is evil. It’s an army of cloned trees that has been hanging around in Utah since the dawn of man. Does no one else find that just a little disquieting? Who knows what kind of dark vegetable thoughts are flitting around in that ancient root system? Who knows what kind of doom it has in store for us? The good news: its malevolence is only matched by its immobility. Whatever it’s got in store for us, we’ll have at least a few years to get out of the way. Still, that’s one more reason for any sane person to give Utah a wide berth.

Southpaw Jones presents

Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
The especial genius of women I believe is to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency.
Margaret Fuller

Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.