Please take a moment to vote for Southpaw Jones as Best Songwriter in The Austin Chronicle Music Poll, http://austinchronicle.com/feedback/musicpoll/07/. You don’t have to live in Austin to vote, and you don’t have to believe he deserves it.

I wore warm clothes this morning, because I got the time and temperature confused. I thought it was 730 degrees outside.

Hey, here’s a fun game inspired by my casual viewing of PBS’s Pioneers of Television, particularly the Game Shows episode. The idea that one could become wildly rich because of an idea like Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune drives me mad with envy!

Did you know Jeopardy was partly inspired by the Quiz Show scandal of the 50s? Folks got in loads of trouble for giving contestants the answers, so Merv Griffin responded with early 60s show that did that very thing! I’ll be danged.

Don’t get me started on Wheel of Fortune! It’s hangman with a big carnival spinner and dull contestants. Goldmine.

Anyhoo, my game for the day is called Mashup 2 You. I’ve combined two song titles into one hilarious phrase. Your job is to guess the two artists of those songs. I realize there are a lot of covers and a lot of similar song titles out there, but hey, part of the game is reading my mind, so there.

Highlight the bracketed spaces to see the answers. Enjoy, and let me know if I should make this a regular feature.

• Johnny B. Goode Vibrations
[Chuck Berry/Beach Boys]

• Idiot Wind Beneath My Wings
[Bob Dylan/Bette Midler]

• Smells Like Teen Spirit in the Sky
[Nirvana/Norman Greenbaum ]

• Let It Be My Baby
[The Beatles/The Ronettes]

• People Get Ready For Love
[The Impressions/Bad Company]

• Layla Bamba
[ Derek and the Dominos/Ritchie Valens ]

• Strawberry Fields Forever Your Girl
[The Beatles/Paula Abdul]

• Fortunate Son of a Preacher Man
[Creedence Clearwater Revival/Dusty Springfield]

as reported in The New York Times

TEAM IN A DRUG STORE
Brooklyn Runaways Didn’t Stop Till They Got to Soda Fountain.
January 24, 1908
On the broad entrance to a drug store at 234 Seventh Avenue, Brooklyn, there is a placard bearing the words, “Come in.” Yesterday afternoon a team of horses attached to a truck took fright and ran away at Seventh Avenue and Fourth Street. Seeing the sign on the drug store door the horses accepted the invitation.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I was supposed to take care of my friend’s plant, but it isn’t doing very well. All the leaves are shriveled and drooping. I’m absolutely wracked with…

Highlight here for answer: [wilt guilt]


CapedWonder Superman Imagery

The question of common sense is “What is it good for?” A question which would abolish the rose and be answered triumphantly by the cabbage.
James Russell Lowell

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com

Maggie & Franklin @ Stacy Park, January 20, 2008

Please take a moment to vote for Southpaw Jones as Best Songwriter in The Austin Chronicle Music Poll, http://austinchronicle.com/feedback/musicpoll/07/. You don’t have to live in Austin to vote, and you don’t have to believe he deserves it.

What a shame about Heath Ledger, dead at 28. News travels fast these days, and idiotic commentary travels even faster, so I won’t say much. All I know about him is that he could have chosen to be a lazy Hollywood pretty boy and thrived, but he had real talent, and he took unnecessary, impressive risks that paid off.

It seems actors who portray Batman’s archenemy The Joker in contemporary film are cursed for their work. Heath Ledger has died after filming The Dark Knight, and Tim Burton‘s prankster Jack Nicholson had to star in The Bucket List. It is in honor of The Clown Prince of Crime and in an effort to assuage the pain of a dark day that I present some fresh stupid jokes.

What did the mannequin say to the make-up counter?
“I wear a lot of hats around here.”

What did the make-up counter say to the mannequin?
“One, two, three, four, five…”

Furniture!
You made your bed, now lie in it.
You made your ant bed, now colonize it.
You made your rocking chair, now play Aerosmith in it.
You made your chest, now breathe deeply.
You made your hat stand, now make your scarf dance.
You made your coffee table, now subscribe to some magazines.
You made your desk, now procrastinate.

There once was a man from New Zealan’
Who started to dig while a’kneelin’
He wound up ‘neath Spain
And knocked his poor brain
On the hole’s floor that now was a ceilin’.

as reported in The New York Times

January 23, 1908
BOY STUDENTS SAVE GIRLS
Grope Through Smoke of Their Burning Dormitory.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I don’t have to work until tomorrow, and I have absolutely no goals and no appointments. My day off is completely…

Highlight here for answer: [sans plans]


CapedWonder Superman Imagery

If you are just safe about the choices you make, you don’t grow.
Heath Ledger, rest in peace

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com

Maggie & Franklin @ Stacy Park, January 20, 2008

Please take a moment to vote for Southpaw Jones as Best Songwriter in The Austin Chronicle Music Poll, http://austinchronicle.com/feedback/musicpoll/07/. You don’t have to live in Austin to vote, and you don’t have to believe he deserves it.

I had a wonderful three-day weekend, thanks for asking. Maggie and I went to an excellent live comedy show [Michael Ian Black & Michael Showalter], attended a surprise birthday party [Tiffani Ginn], saw a co-bill of touring singer-songwriters [Jonathan Byrd & Jess Klein], screened an unforgettable film on the front row [There Will Be Blood], watched two television finales [Extras & Curb Your Enthusiasm], ate lots of good food, drank lots of good drink, and tried to stay warm.

Sunday, we took Maggie‘s cat Franklin to the park. He’s a 14-pound Maine Coon who has spent most of his two years of life in an apartment. He got a leash for Christmas, and he’s been practicing for the big day by occasionally wearing a harness. We got him to the park, and frankly, he was blown away. So many sights, so many sounds, so many smells! Sunshine is bright! He reverted back to kittenhood, clinging to us in the face of all those wide open spaces. He didn’t run through the grass or climb a tree, but it was only his first time. Give him a break! I’ll post pictures of the monumental event for the rest of the week.

Now it’s Tuesday, and I hope not to squander all that quality rest and good will before the day is through.

as reported in The New York Times

WOMEN MUSN’T SMOKE
City Ordinance Now Forbids Them to Do So In Public Places.
January 22, 1908
The thousands of women in New York who have never thought of smoking in public places are now prohibited from doing so by law. The Board of Aldermen yesterday passed the Sullivan anti-smoke ordinance by a veto of 73 to 0.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I know that dark collection of mist up there looks ominous, but I asked the puffy fog to promise me it wouldn’t rain on us, and I have faith that it won’t, because that…

Highlight here for answer: [cloud vowed]


CapedWonder Superman Imagery

And the smell of the library was always the same – the musty odour of old clothes mixed with the keener scent of unwashed bodies, creating what the chief librarian had once described as ‘the steam of the social soup.’
Peter Ackroyd

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com

Maggie & Franklin @ Stacy Park, January 20, 2008

The regular Southpaw Jones Fun Time Gazette will return tomorrow. Today belongs to MLK Jr., the greatest Christian liberal in the history of our nation. Thank you for teaching us the meaning of civilization, Dr. King.

“A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.”

“We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war but the positive affirmation of peace.”