CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

• He’s young.
• He’s new to Washington.
• He is charismatic.
• He is compelling.
• He has supporters all over the world.
• He’s handsome.
• He speaks well.
• He’s confident.
• He excites people.
• He exercises a lot.
• He is calculating and logical.
• He fights back against Republican attacks.
• His wife has thoughts and opinions.
• He speaks in front of columns.
• He wants to accomplish a great deal.
• He opposed the war from the beginning.
• He is the most liberal member of the Senate.

At this point, I just can’t think of any positives. Vote McCain!

as reported in The New York Times

August 29, 1908
OPPOSE WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE.
California Republicans Refuse to Incorporate Plank in Platform.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I used to have a nice, big, glossy picture of the Texas Cyclone up on my wall. That was my favorite ride at Astroworld. Unfortunately, when I went off to college, my mom tore down my…

Highlight here for answer: [coaster poster]


The Most Curious Graves and Tombstones

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is a matter of the will, quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.
Samuel Ullman

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

Tonight is truly an historic one, as I will accept my party’s nomination for Resident of the United States at the Flipnotics (Indoor Stadium) @ the Triangle. I realize I’m not the only person in the world making a speech tonight, but in this day and age, you don’t have to see events live to see them in their entirety.

Unless, of course, said events are not recorded in any way.

My show tonight will not appear on YouTube five minutes after it happens.

Silly pundits will not discuss the intricacies of my performance into the wee hours of the morn.

You won’t be able to read the transcript over and over until the hope hops heartily from your hungry heart.

Then again, maybe I should provide the text of my speech tonight, just in case you choose televised HIM over flesh & blood me:

My fallow Americans,

Hallowed be y’all’s names.

Y’all’s kingdom come, y’all’s will be done in the Middle East, as it is in Middleton, Wisconsin.

Give me this day some tips in the tip jar.

Forgive my pitchiness, should any occur, as I pitch my forgiveness.

Lead me not into worldwide fame and a folksinger’s overdose (too much coffee, Harper’s, and hobo kisses), but please do what you can to deliver me from obscurity.

For y’all rock in so many ways for coming out and supporting me tonight.

Amen.

Play ball!

as reported in The New York Times

August 28, 1908
CHRISTIAN SOCIALISTS MEET.
Hold a Conference at Asbury Park — Plan State Organizations.
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — The Middle States Summer conferences of the Christian Socialist Fellowship opened here this afternoon in Library Hall, and will continue until Sunday next. On the closing day Mrs. Rose Pastor Stokes will make an address on Charity from a Socialist View.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

It may appear that domesticated bovine animals graze randomly, but the truth is they seek out the best grass in the field. It seems that just like shoppers…

Highlight here for answer: [cows browse]


The Most Curious Graves and Tombstones

These are strange times. Reason, which once combatted faith and seemed to have conquered it, now has to look to faith to save it from dissolution.
Johan Huizinga

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

The weekend was good to me and mine. Sweet Maggie and I got to try dim sum (thanks Abi & Alison!), we grilled salmon, we sliced cheese, and we finally scored a citrus zester. Now I just have to figure out what to do with it. Muy domestico.

Sunday night, Maggie took me to a My Morning Jacket show at Stubb’s. She takes me to shows like Feist and MMJ, while I take her to They Might Be Giants and Magnetic Fields. It’s a solid relationship in a live music town.

I was vaguely familiar with the Jacket and their tunes, and I appreciate their aesthetic, but I was shocked and impressed to find them performing a pure American five-man rock show. I always categorized them as indie, whatever that means, but there was nothing casual or ironic or post-modern about the show. They were more like The Who than The Shins. They expanded and swirled their songs into unpredictable wormholes of sound and light.

It helped that there was a dude in front of us enjoying every moment more than the entire audience combined. Um, I’ll have what he’s having. It also helped that I cut all my hair off and wore a sort-of military looking shirt, so folks were giving me respectful looks and getting out of my way. Awesome show. Great job!

In other music news, I purchased Glen Campbell’s new record, Meet Glen Campbell. Yes, THAT Glen Campbell, the Wichita Lineman, the Rhinestone Cowboy. His music is like that moment when you step out of your house into a bright, sunny afternoon and the sun reflects off your blond hippie cowgirl neighbor’s hair, and you feel like you’re about to sneeze. It’s a good thing. I’ve always enjoyed hearing him on classic country radio, and a few months back, I picked up his greatest hits.

Now he has put together one of those old man comeback albums like Johnny Cash, Tony Bennett, and Neil Diamond before him. Producer Julian Raymond brought Mr. Campbell into the studio to record modern, lush versions of Grade-A tunes by Tom Petty, Foo Fighters, Travis, John Lennon, and others. My favorites are the two Petty songs, “Walls” and “Angel Dream,” and Jackson Browne’s “These Days.” It’s great work all around, if you’re of the mind that banjo and cello belong together as often as possible, like me. Yay, new music for adults! You can hear it all and find out more at meetglencampbell.com.

as reported in The New York Times

August 26, 1908
PUT THE BABY ON ALTAR.
Preacher Called for Sinners and Woman Responded with His Child.
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — At the close of the religious exercises at Union Mission, 1,920 Franklin Avenue, last night, while John Hutchinson, an exhorter, was pleading with his comrades to come forward to the mourners’ bench and seek forgiveness for their sins, Cora Thompson, 20 years old, went forward, laid a tiny baby on the altar, and said to the preacher: “Here is your little burden of sin.”

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I know you seasoned this to have an air of sea water, but there’s something very wrong with the flavor here. I see what you were going for, but to my tongue, this is a rather…

Highlight here for answer: [faulty salty]


The Most Curious Graves and Tombstones

There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.
Maya Angelou

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I had had a productive week, so I decided to celebrate by purchasing two DVDs: Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Season 1 and ¡Three Amigos!

I went to Best Buy. It’s not my favorite place in the world now that I’m not fourteen anymore, but it still has a bright yellow and blue charm to it when I’m in a consumerist mood.

They had what I was after, so I paid and walked out, but the theft alarm went off as I passed it. No one seemed to care. I had my receipt, so I wasn’t worried about it. I just started walking slower so no one would think I was trying to escape. I did not need a tackle-fest and a skinned knee to mess up my weekend.

It was about this time I heard, “Excuse me, sir, kind of a weird question…”

I turned around to see a young well-dressed man in a four-door car with two other people. They didn’t say anything or look my way.

“Kind of a weird question…what do you do?”

It isn’t a weird question necessarily. It’s actually weird timing, because people always ask that question eventually, just not first.

My giant ego kicked in immediately, and I thought, “This guy has seen me perform at some point, and he recognizes my fine self.”

Of course that wasn’t it.

I said, “Well, I work in the financial sector during the day, and I play guitar at night.”

He was not interested in my guitar skills.

“Financial sector? Like what do you mean? What company?”

I tried to describe my drool-inducing day job to him.

Finally, he got to his point.

“Well, I am a real estate investor. Are you happy with your situation?”

I gave him an answer that was both true and effective in convincing him to leave me alone.

“Yes, actually, I’m quite content.”

“Content…”

He considered it as if he’d never heard the word before.

“Alright, sorry to bother you,” he said, as he drove off with what I now assume to be two previous parking lot victims.

It was an odd encounter. I wonder what might have happened if I had said I was unhappy?

Perhaps he would have given me a crazy oversized check for one million dollars.

More likely he would have swindled me out of my life savings and spit in my eye.

But the nice thing about that moment is that I wasn’t lying.

I really am quite content, enjoying my day to day, the things I’m building, the people and the town that inspire me.

It’s easy to forget until someone asks you point blank in a big box parking lot.

Quite content, this one.

as reported in The New York Times

August 25, 1908
BULL CHARGES ON TRAIN.
Once Repulsed, He Comes Back for More and Is Killed.
KINGSTON, N.Y. — When an express train on the Ulster Delaware Railroad last night approached a giant bull standing on the tracks, the bull lowered his shaggy head and charged.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

He selected lukewarm as the condition of his popsicle, when he clearly should have…

Highlight here for answer: [chosen frozen]


The Most Curious Graves and Tombstones

A creator needs only one enthusiast to justify him.
Man Ray

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com