CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

I realize I’m a little late in acknowledging the death of Mr. Bernie Mac at the young age of 50. He died almost two weeks ago, and I just assumed I would see a great deal of coverage and tributes and footage. I figured if I wrote about the man here, I’d just be echoing the shallow mourning of the national media.

Now I realize that Bernie Mac’s death is not going to be overexposed. It is decidedly under-covered.

Why is that? Sure, the Olympics and the presidential election are taking up a lot of media attention, but they always seem to find room in the line-up for stupid Britney comeback rumors or crazy windsurfing footage.

Where’s the love for Bernie Mac?

He may not have been as influential and legendary as George Carlin, but George Carlin died at the ripe old age of 75!

I don’t want to accuse the media of racism, but Bernie Mac was a top notch comedian, movie star, and television star who suddenly died at age 50, just when he was about to slow down after decades of hard, hard work and enjoy his success. This is a shocking, sad story, so why must I scour the internet for coverage?

Ok, I’m done ranting.

Stand-up comedy is a wonderful, stripped down, decidedly human art form, and Bernie Mac was a master of it. He grabbed the stage with both hands, and you could not deny him. The Original Kings of Comedy is one of the greatest comedy films ever, and of course, Mr. Mac was the headliner. The Bernie Mac Show was not as fun as the man onstage with a microphone, but it was still one of the smartest, funniest sitcoms in the post-Seinfeld, post-Cosby Show century.

Bernie Mac was an irreplaceable force in pop culture, and I miss him already.

Here are his friends and colleagues, the remaining Kings of Comedy, speaking at his funeral in their own touching and hilarious ways:

as reported in The New York Times

August 22, 1908
HAWKS ATTACKED SWIMMER.
Prell Got in School of Fish the Birds Were After.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

She didn’t actually die for the sake of principle or to inspire her followers. She faked her awful, public death! Now she’s living well on an island somewhere. Now that’s what I call a…

Highlight here for answer: [smarter martyr]


Popcorn Cat

It became apparent to me, as a capitalist, that if I lent myself to this sort of action [by his fellow businessmen] and resisted any change designed to benefit all the people, I could be consumed by the poisons of social lag I had helped to create.
Marriner Eccles, on The Great Depression

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

It’s Thursday, which is the new Friday, because I’ll perform at Flipnotics @ the Triangle tonight! Austinites, come on out at 8 pm for a live peek at my schemes.

Speaking of shrieking girls, the wonderful Abi Tapia sent me this paragraph from a concert review by Craig Shelburne:

SAVANNAH, Ga. — It was the night the lights went out in Georgia, but that didn’t stop Taylor Swift from playing a rare headlining show at Savannah Civic Center on Friday night (Aug. 15). An underground explosion a few hours before the sold-out show killed electricity throughout the downtown area, but thanks to a generator, the production went on as planned, just a few minutes behind schedule. But if the venue could have somehow harnessed all the excitement from the shrieking pre-teen and teenage girls, the city — and probably the whole state — would never have a power shortage ever again.

It seems that like the keytar craze, the idea of using adolescent female gusto to provide power is spreading throughout the universal consciousness like wildfire. Why, it’s just like that song I wrote, the sort-of title track for my new CD, “The Cruelty of Teenage Girls”!

Listen to it here.

as reported in The New York Times

August 21, 1908
MOB WOULD LYNCH NEGRO.
1,500 Lynn, Mass., Citizens Try to Take Burglar from Captor.
LYNN, Mass. — A mob of 1,500 people with shouts of “Lynch him! lynch him!” tried to take away Henry Tyler, a negro, aged 30 years, from a reserve officer in an alleyway near the New England Telephone and Telegraph Company’s Building here to-night, and had severely pounded the colored man when seven policemen came to the rescue and succeeded in getting the prisoner to the station house before he was seriously hurt.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

If 19 is too few, and 21 is too many, that should make…

Highlight here for answer: [twenty plenty]


Popcorn Cat

“Faith” is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see —
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency.
Emily Dickinson

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

Sometimes I get down about my “career.”

My mother wanted me to avoid the music business because of all the “ups and downs.”

Oh, how she worries to this day.

I suppose all artists have moments or even decades of doubt.

“Why am I doing this? Does anyone even care? Have I made any progress?”

You know, in times of trouble, it’s easy to get jealous of more successful musicians with their millions of dollars and throngs of fans.

Sometimes, though, you hear a story that makes you think, “Wow, I’m really happy to be who I am and where I am in life.”

REALLY happy.

This is one of those stories, from GuideLive.com:

Pat Green performed Saturday night at the Michigan International Speedway after NASCAR’s Carfax 250 race.

The Jackson Citizen Patriot reports that late in his show, he shouted, “Anyone got a beer?”

A can of suds suddenly soared from the audience onto the stage.

Then a second can from the crowd hit Green between the eyes, knocking him out.

Immediate Questions:

• Did he find this hilarious the second he woke up, or will it take a few days?

• Did the band finish the song?

• Did the crowd gasp, cheer, cry, or all three?

• Was it one of those heavy Heineken keg cans?

• Was the crowd so well-equipped that they could have served a whole fried turkey or a vat of potato soup or a hound dog upon request?

• Is the hurler of said beer guilty of a crime? Surely not, since the victim requested the blunt object via live microphone. I have to say, though, “assault with a hoppy weapon” is a lovely charge.

Obviously, Pat Green is very successful, and such success is well worth taking a watered down adult beverage to the noggin at least once.

But it’s the cumulative story that turns me a non-envious shade of green:

1. performing at the Michigan International Speedway
(What on earth makes it “international”?)

2. after a NASCAR race
(Can’t you smell the fossil fuels?)

3. drunk-as-all-get-out crowd
(Can’t you smell the pheremones?)

Beer to the head or no beer to the head, big payday or not, I would never want to perform in that situation. But that’s kind of a problem, isn’t it? If you are a live performer, but your act isn’t designed to sell beer and one-night-stands, how exactly are you supposed to make a living?

Clearly, I don’t have the answer to that question. It’s a hard road, this lyric-focused folksinger’s life of mine, where dozens gather to buy coffee for $1.

But I’ll take it over a drunken NASCAR crowd any day.

Any day.

Congratulations and get-well-soon to Pat Green, whose wish is the audience’s command.

“Anybody got a cold one?”

“We need an ice pack up here.”

as reported in The New York Times

August 20, 1908
MRS. WARDWELL FOUND.
Widow of General Evades Guards of Leper Colony for a Time.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

For lunch today, I’m just going to have one of those cheap bowls of seasoned Asian noodles. Nothing special, just some…

Highlight here for answer: [common ramen]


Popcorn Cat

I always knew I was an artist and not the cog in some machine. To be an artist is a blessing and a privilege. Artists must never betray their true hearts. Artists must look beneath the surface and show that there is more to this world than what meets the eye.
Marvin Gaye

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

I’m out of words today, so I’ll just share this wonderful keytar comic from Toothpaste for Dinner:

And a shot of the keytar dog toy I referenced yesterday:

Jammin’!

as reported in The New York Times

August 19, 1908
“SIMPLY TIRED OF LIFE.”
Alfred T. Wimberly Gives Reason for Committing Suicide.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

We got Fido a new jaw restraint to keep him from biting, but it takes a while to assemble, because it’s made of jigsaw pieces. Would you help me put together this…

Highlight here for answer: [muzzle puzzle]


Popcorn Cat

You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it’s going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.
Robert M. Pirsig

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records or End of an Ear in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

Sorry about Monday, everyone.

It’s here.

There’s no reason to be rude to it.

Maybe it isn’t like previous Mondays.

Let’s not judge it until we get to know it better.

Let’s focus on the positive.

I’m still glowing from my new t-shirt that came in the mail last week. I don’t have a picture of it stretched across my manly chest, but I do have this:

Isn’t it beautiful? Ms. Jenny Booth pointed me to the website, and I just had to buy it.

If you know me at all, you know that I’m proud of my keytar, even though I can’t play it all that well, and I only know two songs on it.

I discovered my Yamaha SHS-10 in a used instrument store in Nashville almost ten years ago. It was hiding under a table in all its red glory. Years later, I found a case for it, and I started including it regularly in my sets.

Somehow, that exact model of tiny-keyed electro-rocker has become an icon of the keytar world. Several months ago, sweet Maggie and I were in an Old Navy for god-knows-what, when we discovered a plush replica of my keytar in a bin of dog toys! 3 bucks? I’ll take it.

Now, during the great keytar resurgence of 2008, I have this t-shirt, which also features the exact features of my beat-packing velvet techno-sword!

So, I’ve only seen one of these SHS-10s in real life, and it’s the one I own. But I have its countenance duplicated on both a chew toy and a t-shirt!

What’s next? A modern art installation including a 10-story, fully functional red keytar just like mine?

I can’t wait.

as reported in The New York Times

WIFE SAVES HUSBAND’S LIFE.
Beats Out Flames with Bare Hands While Others Flee in Terror.
JERSEYVILLE, Ill. — While the other guests, men and women, fled in terror, Mrs. Edward B. Griggs of Jerseyville, Ill., dragged her husband from the blazing Otter Creek Clubhouse, on the Illinois River, near Hardin, to-night, and with her bare hands beat out the fire that was flaming his oil-saturated clothes.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

That record-breaking Olympic swimmer is a mighty inspiration. These days, we Americans have trouble feeling good about ourselves, but…

Highlight here for answer: [Phelps helps]


Popcorn Cat

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, 2008
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 pm
Wyldwood House Concert
4205 Wyldwood Road
AUSTIN, TX
wyldwood.startlogic.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008
Celebrating the lyrics of CRUELTY!
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 472-5050
www.bookpeople.com