Southpaw Jones presents
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:
Come on out tonight!
Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
8:00 PM
Southpaw Jones & Matt the Electrician
Cafe Mundi
‘Twas the week before Christmas
And east of downtown
Empanadas are baked
To a warm golden brown
The Southpaw was hung
And quite proud of himself
While Matt’s new CD
Was for sale on the shelf
The audience was nestled
All snug in their chairs
While visions of better shows
Danced in their heads
When out in the parking lot
Some wild thing ran loose
I thought to myself
“Is that our long-lost Bruce?”
Around to the window
I turned quick to see
But it was just Santa
A’quiverin’ with glee
More thirsty than a beagle
He ordered a beer
And said, “I got presents
For all y’all in here!”
He reached in his sack
So miraculously small
He pulled out a Corvette
And one Bocce ball
Some dude got a blender
Some chick scored a Wii
There were trinkets and truffles
And treacle and tea!
He gave Matt a trumpet
And an old pewter Noid
I looked in my lap
And saw nothing but void
I looked up at Santa
As a tear traced my nose
“You got nothin’ for me, elf man?
This Christmas blows!”
He said, “Ah, yes, here’s something”
I said, “What is it? What??”
“A free trip to Houston,
You ignorant slut.”
I just started sobbing
When I heard that last jab
Then he walked out the door
And left me with his tab
So I took out my crossbow
To reclaim my honor
I spoke not a word
I just aimed right at Donner
But I never fired
For whatever it’s worth
For Matt had just given
Spontaneous birth
To a miracle baby
We knew to call Milo
“Merry Christmas to all,
Most farms have a silo!”
Southpaw Jones presents
More verbosity with velocity and viscosity:
I recently sat down for an interview with Russ and Wendy from the Austin Daze, a local zine and web site. They have a unique style in that they ask you questions then publish exactly what you say. ‘Twas a bit nerve-wracking, but I came off as not-too-big-an-idiot. Here’s an excerpt:
AD: For lack of a better word, do you find it hard to be a struggling musician?
SJ: I’m in Austin, so I think that I’m thriving artistically. But I have to spend 40 hours at a job just so I’ll have insurance and a roof above my head. No, I don’t feel like it’s a struggle. If it was a struggle, I’d probably stop doing it because I’m lazy. There are rewards and they are not always monetary.
AD: What is the best thing and the worst thing about being in a thriving music community?
SJ: The best thing is the Austin community of artists and listeners who somehow, no matter how far out I throw my stuff, they pick up on it and they don’t act like the words and melodies that I write are inherently strange. The worst part of it is going out of town after being spoiled by that and people just looking at you with their heads tilted to one side. It’s too much, I guess. I get people saying, “We are going to have to get you back to the asylum, boy” and that kind of thing. I don’t really think my songs are that weird, it’s just not what is on the radio. I speak to a different side of the brain and a different side of the heart and all that stuff.
“All that stuff,” indeed, Southpaw. You can read the whole thing at AustinDaze.com. Long live the Daze!
Southpaw Jones presents
Scared of Santa!:
Southpaw Jones presents
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
Chinese Curse
Thank you, come again!
southpawjones.com
southpawjones.com
http://myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2006 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.
2 Comments
now this is to the tune of “its beginning to look alot like christmas”
and
some of you youngsters may have no clue what this tune is supposed to sound like so i am adding a link for the tunage:
http://members.shaw.ca/afunchristmas/carols/beginningtolook.html
but refering to the melody from the link
start after the mom and dad can hardly wait … music piece ..
like the last two verse pieces …
this lyric page got the verses out of order abit …
if you listen to bing crosby’s version
ive got it right …. its just like bing sings it on his white christmas album …
the words below what i penned is the actual christmas tune .
Its beginning to smell a lot like cat shit
its beginning to look alot like christmas
All around my house
everywhere you go
Take a look behind the couch
Take a look in the five-and-ten
My nose is screamin ouch
glistening once again
And im not sure the smell pecul’r
Is one of a dead mouse
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow ( da da da da )
Its beginning to smell a lot like cat shit
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Even in my room
Soon the bells will start
Gotta make it go away
But the prettiest sight to see
Get the fabreeze out and spray
is the holly that will be
Find the dust pan and the broom
On your own front door
This should rid the foreboding gloom
sure its christmas once more
now
tell me if you think it stinks =D hhahahaaa
Nice work, Judy!