As interpreted by my friend Leslie, several years ago in a coffeehouse.

as reported in The New York Times

November 10, 1908
OBJECTIONS TO PROHIBITION.
Munsterberg Says Spread of Drug Habit Among Abstainers Is Alarming.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I think something is wrong with my ears. Our team just scored a touchdown, but I’m not picking up the sound of applause. Why am I not…

Highlight here for answer: [hearing cheering]


Charles Alexander meets Barack Obama

Science is the soul brother of the joke and the child: they all love to look at things in a new way, to turn things upside down, to feel the thrill of surprise. Just watch children delight in jumbling words or putting on a hat backwards.
Gottfried Schatz

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
511 West 43rd Street 78751
AUSTIN, TX
For reservations, tickets and info: spike@spikeg.com
dickmonologues.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2008
8:00 PM
CRUELTY Release Show!
Opening Bell – Mosaic
300 North Akard #300 75202
DALLAS, TX
214-665-BELL
openingbellcoffee.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2008
3:15 PM
Bill’s Records
1317 S. Lamar 75215
DALLAS, TX
Parking is free in the lot next to the store. Come to Bill’s and browse through all the music and memorabilia! CD’s, vintage records, collectors’ items, T-Shirts, buttons, artwork and more!
billsrecords.com
214-421-1500
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2008
7:30 PM
Opening for The Asylum Street Spankers!
Jefferson Freedom Cafe
1959 Sandy Lane 76112
FORT WORTH, TX
jeffersonfreedomcafe.org
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2008
Lajitas Resort
HC 70, Box 400 79852
LAJITAS, TX
432.424.5000
lajitas.com
________________________________________________________________

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.
Thank you, come again!
myspace.com/southpawjones
E-mail southpaw@southpawjones.com
©2008 Southpaw Jones. All rights reserved.

I took this picture in the mall while laughing:

Happy Friday!

as reported in The New York Times

October 17, 1908
SHERMAN MEETS INDIAN BOSS
Red Man’s Only Recognition of Candidate Was a Grunting “How Do.”

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Welcome! Don’t mind the guy over there where two sides of the room meet. He stands there and tells everyone about impending danger. Just try to ignore the…

Highlight here for answer: [corner warner]


Mad Men Illustrated

A trap is for fish: when you’ve got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you’ve got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you’ve got the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find someone who’s forgotten words so I can have a word with him?
Zhuangzi

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

I made a Wordle for the lyrics of my song Everyman. It appears on Cruelty, dontchaknow? Click the pic to see it writ large.

as reported in The New York Times

October 14, 1908
SUFFRAGETTE MOB STORMS PARLIAMENT
5,000 Police Struggle with a Crowd of 100,000 — One Woman Breaks In.
CARRIED OUT BY THREE MEN
Thirteen Women Try a Football Rush — All Women to be Excluded Hereafter.
LONDON — The climax of the suffragette campaign was reached to-night when an enormous mob hemmed in Parliament and stopped the traffic in all streets leading to Westminster. For more than three hours the crowds scuffled good-naturedly with the police, interfered with theatregoers, broke windows, and disorganized things generally in the centre of London.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

You know what they say, life begins at first printing! My unborn baby has already written several formal expositions and essays from the womb! Would you like to read my…

Highlight here for answer: [fetus’s treatises]


Mad Men Illustrated

We rarely recognize how wonderful it is that a person can traverse an entire lifetime without making a single really serious mistake — like putting a fork in one’s eye or using a window instead of a door.
Marvin Minsky

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2008
7:00 pm
Bettysport
916 A. West 12th St. 78703
AUSTIN, TX
Happy Hour for Austin Duathletes and Austin Runners Club.
www.bettysport.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com

CRUELTY is now available!
Order the CD now at southpawjones.com.
Purchase MP3s at cdbaby.com or .
Grab a copy in real time at Waterloo Records, End of an Ear, or Bookpeople in Austin.
Or buy one from me any Thursday at Flipnotics @ the Triangle.

Here are some pictures from the Five Things Austin event on September 12 at Do512.com. I wrote a fairly serious song (and a tiny funny song) about a light bulb painted over with bits of the American flag. Perhaps I’ll record it someday.

Thanks to Amelia Gray for inviting me and Mary Sledd for taking the pics!

as reported in The New York Times

September 23, 1908
WAVE DRENCHED CALVE.
A Little Incident on the Cecilie’s Trip — To Sing in Concert Here.
Mme. Calve, who arrived in New York yesterday on the Kronprinzessin Cecilie to sing at thirty concerts in different cities of the United States, had an experience with a big wave on the promenade deck of the liner last Friday afternoon that ruined a handsome French gown and caused the prima donna to hurry back into the cabin faster than she had walked for many years.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The Egyptian goddess of fertility is in the middle of a rather unstable and dangerous situation! Does anyone know how to solve this…

Highlight here for answer: [Isis crisis]


Custom My Little Ponies

You’re trying to take an inarticulate thing and take notes and make them come out in a way that moves you; if it moves you, it’s going to moves others. If you know it’s right, and you feel this is something you meant, but very rarely does it happen, and when it does, you remember it for the rest of your life. What can I say? It’s the most exuberant feeling you can have. It beats sex, it beats great food, it beats anything.
Artie Shaw

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576

http://andersonfair.com

Ladies and gentlemen, the end of this month shall be the beginning of something wonderful, mysterious, and scary. No, it’s not an expensive chunk of dark chocolate; it’s my new studio CD, CRUELTY. Here, making its public debut, is the cover:

Miranda R. Mueller provided the illustration, and I love it. I stare at it for hours at a time. I’ll celebrate the CD release here in Austin on Tuesday, July 29 at the Cactus Café. This is my first full studio CD since 1999 (!) so I’m duly excited. Keep tuning in to southpawjones.com this month for track listings, pre-order information, and maybe a preview track or two. Spread the word!

as reported in The New York Times

July 2, 1908
BREWERY WORKERS PROTEST.
3,000 to Parade in Milwaukee in a Demonstration Against Prohibition.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

The hotel is nice, but they’re hosting a choir competition, and these groups simply can’t get along! They argue all day and night in the elevators and hallways. I’ll be a happy man if I never have to listen to another…

Highlight here for answer: [choral quarrel]


Passive-Aggressive Notes

The sun was like a great visiting presence that stimulated and took its due from all animal energy. When it flung wide its cloak and stepped down over the edge of the fields at evening, it left behind it a spent and exhausted world.
Willa Cather

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 2008
7:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theatre
AUSTIN, TX

http://dickmonologues.com

SOLD OUT!
________________________________________________________________

TUESDAY, JULY 29, 2008
Cactus Cafe
The Texas Union, 24th & Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
CD Release Celebration for CRUELTY!
(512) 475-6515

http://utexas.edu/txunion/ae/cactus/index.php