Southpaw Jones

• Bring up William Ayers.
• Bring up Jeremiah Wright.
• Bring up Tony Rezko.
• Bring up Charles Keating and apologize.
• Stand on head.
• Say “The markets are erratic, so the president should be, too.”
• Show off artificially colorized baby pictures to appear younger.
• Make Obama touch the scars.
• Stand still and speak intelligently this time.
• Squawk like a chicken and claim that Obama doesn’t know how to handle “crazy.”
• Claim that the real McCain from the 2000 primaries is tied up in his basement and has offered to help with policy-making.
• Avoid use of Akmadenijad term “stinking corpse.”
• Replace VP candidate Sarah Palin with Barack Obama. Game-changer!
• Tell the world how you really feel about George W. Bush.
• Apologize for western civilization and white male rule and unnecessary war and beg voters to just make an old man’s dream come true.

as reported in The New York Times

October 15, 1908
GOING SOME, SAID SHERMAN.
Automobile Knocks Down a Horse, Kills Chickens, and Blows Out Tire.
CUBA, N.Y. — At the close of a fifty-mile automobile ride to-night from Hornell to Cuba, during which the car killed several chickens, knocked down a horse, and blew out a tire, James S. Sherman, Republican Vice Presidential candidate, stepped upon the hotel veranda and remarked: “Well, that was going some!”

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

I like to whistle or something in the midst of mixing ingredients with a spoon. How ‘bout you? How do you entertain yourself…

Highlight here for answer: [during stirring]


Mad Men Illustrated

Habituated from our Infancy to trample upon the Rights of Human Nature, every generous, every liberal Sentiment, if not extinguished, is enfeebled in our Minds.
George Mason

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
www.flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2008
7:00 pm
Bettysport
916 A. West 12th St. 78703
AUSTIN, TX
Happy Hour for Austin Duathletes and Austin Runners Club.
www.bettysport.com
________________________________________________________________

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
9:00 PM (Doors open at 8.)
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576
www.andersonfair.com