Southpaw Jones

I had a grand ol’ time opening for Lisa Loeb last night at the Cactus Café. Her fans are smart, polite, and clear-skinned. They gave a rare, hearty laugh for the “wireless LAN” line of my song Everyman. I always get a kick out of finding out who laughs at what, if anyone laughs at all, that is.

Ms. Loeb’s solo performance was great, too. I would classify it as charming and unhinged. She swirled in the freedom of the stage, talking a lot, playing songs she didn’t quite know, and supplying the heavy-hitting chart-toppers.

What else is going on? Well, the end of the world is upon us. That’s notable. Sharon Stone said that an earthquake struck China due to bad karma from that nation’s treatment of Tibet. Please, Ms. Stone, explain why a tornado would strike a Boy Scout camp, killing four kids. It’s a crazy scene out there, and the more one tries to make sense of this world, the more foolish one appears in one’s one-piece. This is a year of record flooding, record earthquakes, record high temperatures, record foreclosures, record food prices, record tornados, and deadly tomatoes. We’re running out of oil, water, fish, air, and reasonably priced condos.

It’s the end of the world as we know it. Do you feel fine? It’s time to find some pleasure, while there’s pleasure left to find. When was the last time you tasted mayonnaise? I mean, really, really tasted it? When you eat your sandwich for lunch today, take your time. Select one excellent bite, and chew it 60 times. Do that thing where you munch a cracker until it goes from salty to sweet to bitter to meaty. Go see a movie after work today. Better yet, come see me play a solo show at Flipnotics @ the Triangle. Bear hug a tree. Tree hug a bear. Bear fruit to fruition. See if you’re still allergic to things you always assumed you were allergic to. Buy one of those “1,000 ______s to _____ Before You Die” books and burn it in your backyard.

Remember, if the world ends today, we’ll all go at once AND we won’t have to go to work tomorrow. We just won’t find out what happens at the end of LOST. No great LOSs.

as reported in The New York Times

June 12, 1908
DISARMED OF 100 PISTOLS.
Spectators and Witnesses Searched as They Entered Texas Courtroom.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

What goes on behind the doors of that high-pressure office? Do you assume anxiety? Would you…

Highlight here for answer: [guess stress]


Colourful Coffins

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2008
9:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Anderson Fair
2007 Grant St. 77006
HOUSTON, TX
713.528.8576

http://andersonfair.com

Doors open at 8:00pm