Southpaw Jones

Today is the last day!
Please take a moment to vote for Southpaw Jones as Best Songwriter in The Austin Chronicle Music Poll, http://austinchronicle.com/feedback/musicpoll/07/. You don’t have to live in Austin to vote, and you don’t have to believe he deserves it.

John Edwards has dropped out of the race for the Democrats’ nomination without endorsing either of his remaining rivals.

If you are a confused Edwards supporter in this wild world of superficial cable television politics, I have some advice.

If you like Edwards’s skin tone, throw your support to Hillary.

If you prefer his Y chromosome, go with Obama.

If you happen to be a fan of his anti-corporate, anti-poverty passion, well, I’m sorry, you are without a candidate.

Unless Nader decides to run.

In other news, Romney gives me the creeps.

John McCain, on the other hand, is a rare bird: a Republican politician who has actually been in uniform, in combat, and tortured far, far from home. I disagree with him from head to toe, but at least he wouldn’t be an embarrassment as president.

If McCain gets the Republican nod and goes up against Clinton or Obama, we’ll have an election between candidates who can piece together and deliver complex sentences. Candidates with relevant, impressive résumés! Candidates who might avoid the big question of the current administration: “Are they pure evil or plain stupid or both?”

I don’t think it will be a revolutionary election, but the situation is looking better. When Clinton, McCain, or Obama appear on my television, I don’t laugh maliciously, and I don’t get sick to my stomach.

Such is the best we can hope for right now.

as reported in The New York Times

SAVED BY VIGILANT WIFE.
Her Habit of Searching Alleged Robber’s Pockets Breaks Down a Case.
January 31, 1908
CLEVELAND, Ohio, Jan. 30. — A confession in Judge Babcock’s room of the Common Pleas Court to-day by Mrs. Rudolph Messerly that she rifled her husband’s pockets each night while he slept freed Messerly.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

My sister used to throw the fatty parts of her steak across the dinner table at me. Nastly little projectiles! What are you laughing at? Do you know what it’s like to be hit in the forehead with a…

Highlight here for answer: [gristle missile]


Gum Sculptures

My limited experience of such things told me that you get closest to the truth by not giving it advance warning that you’re coming after it.
Michael Marshall Smith

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com

Maggie & me at Jersey’s Finest party, January 26, 2008.