Southpaw Jones

Hey, I’ve had over 1,000 visitors the last two days! Thanks for stopping by.

Perhaps this is a good time to use this site for selfish, real-life purposes. Here’s the thing: I need a job. Oh, it feels good to type that out. I mean, I have a job, and it takes good care of me, but it doesn’t require or encourage anything that makes me, well, human. They just haven’t built robots or computer programs for the tasks I perform daily. Plus, I’m in the world of finance, and folks tend to get real tense about money. I’m moving up in my department, which is normally a good thing, but it will require frequent conversations with people who are missing money or confused and rather peeved about it.

Personally, I hate thinking about money. I just want a decent amount of it, so I can budget it, spend it, save it, and most importantly ignore it. Let’s say over $35,000.

“Ok, a full-time job over $35k with benefits in Austin, Texas. What else, Southpaw? This is your site, so dream big!”

You’re right, fair reader! Um, I want work that requires and rewards my creativity, work that generally allows me to keep to myself and set my own pace. Perhaps I can even work from home. Dare I dream it in 2008 AD?

I have a résumé, the highlights of which I will hereby list:

• BA in Communication, Dean’s List, Magna Cum Laude, Alpha Chi, Senior Senator, Entertainment Editor, Writing Tutor, blah, blah, blah
• Founded a radio station on a small college campus
• Co-wrote a successful test-preparation book with one Spike Gillsepie
• 13 years experience building a brand that shares its name with me
• That’s 13 years of self-driven publishing, editing, marketing, mailing list maintenance, touring, publicity, etc.
• Spearheading the release of six independent CDs
• Single-handed design and maintenance of two web sites
• 2 years experience in financial aid
• 2 years experience in commissions and compensation
• 2 years experience in internet research
• 1 year experience substitute education
• Knowledge of lots and lots of programs, Mac and PC alike

Is anyone out there looking for a dude with this combination of skills and experience? I hope so. If you know some hiring folks, pass it on! My e-mail address is southpaw@southpawjones.com, and I have a more professional name at the office, I promise.

as reported in The New York Times

March 26, 1908
BIM THE BUTTON MAN FOUND DEAD IN BED.
Meyer R. Bimberg, who was known all over the United States as “Bim, the Button Man,” and as an expert builder of theatres, was found dead in bed yesterday afternoon in his apartments in the Zenobia, 217 West 110th Street. Mr. Bimberg had been ill since Saturday, when he was stricken with tonsilitis.

One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Abel’s brother sure is hurting since he left the Garden. His knees, his back, and his shoulders are all achy. Trouble is, there ain’t no modern medicine to cure ol’…

Highlight here for answer: [Cain’s pains]


Modern Products in a Vintage Light

Cannon-balls may aid the truth
But thought’s a weapon stronger;
We’ll win our battles by its aid,
Wait a little longer.
Charles Mackay

EVERY DANG THURSDAY
with Matt the Electrician
8:00 PM
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
AUSTIN, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com
________________________________________________________________

FRIDAY, MARCH 28, 2008
10:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
The Fairmount
600 W. Magnolia Ave. 76104
FORT WORTH, TX
817.420.9455

http://thefairmountlive.com

________________________________________________________________

SUNDAY, MARCH 30, 2008
2:00 PM
Spike Gillespie’s Dick Monologues
Hyde Park Theater
AUSTIN, TX

http://dickmonologues.com