Southpaw Jones

Is This Interesting?
Thoughts/feelings that just might not matter:

Dear brethren, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life and mourn the death of a fine young Weekend. She passed on too soon, my friends, and it seems she took a part of us with her. I can still feel her free spirit brushing across my face like a summer breeze, and yet, I know she’s gone. You all know she’s gone, but we must not forget that she lived. She took the bull by the horns, and she rode that wild thing around town screaming, “It doesn’t have to be this way!” Church, now is not the time to pretend it didn’t happen. Now is the time to celebrate its happening!

She was born very late on a Thursday night, and we all thought she was the cutest thing. Full of promise. Wide-eyed. Completely innocent. She had never heard the words “work” or “responsibility,” and it was as if she would never understand them, even if you spent years explaining their meanings. In the same way, I believe she understood things that we deny, forget, or fail to recognize.
Concepts like Fun.
Rest.
Couch.
Mexican food.
Late-night television.
Swimming.
Driving out of town.
Movies.

I know you remember, like I do, last Tuesday or Wednesday, you didn’t know or care about any of these things. You didn’t want to know! All you acknowledged was function, function, function. But she changed all that, didn’t she? Our little girl who seemed to come from nowhere. She never asked for our thanks. She never wanted anything in return. Sometimes, we barely even knew she was here. She would just stand in a corner and laugh at us enjoying her gifts.

I got word that she stopped breathing late Sunday night, as I was stuffing my gym shorts into my work bag at home. At first, I panicked and thought that this action alone might have contributed to her demise. But Doc told me she just wasn’t made to last. She had a 2.5 day life span, and her time was up. I think she knew it all along. Of course, she wasn’t going to burden us with that information.

We can’t fault her for leaving any more than we can claim to deserve what she gave us. She was Freedom, and our little village will be forever changed as a result of her visit. Even now, as I look down upon her tiny lifeless body, I wonder if we might see her again someday, bounding through the meadow with an armful of wildflowers and a handle of rum.

I know I’m not supposed to get anyone’s hopes up here, but perhaps we could will her back into existence. I think maybe she left that much of an impression on us. And if we fail, I suspect we’ll all be better folks for having tried.

For now, though, we say goodbye, sweet Weekend. Please do not be insulted, dearly departed child, as we return to responsibility and toil today. Without you, we are slaves to many masters, and we only do what we must to survive. We will look in all directions for any sign of you and your spirit. At lunch. During breaks. In traffic. Return to us soon, and we will return to you, a glorious reunion foretold by even the simplest calendar.

Rest in peace.

My name is Southpaw Jones, and this has been The Personification of a Completed Weekend.
I hope you enjoyed it.
This actual weekend, I:
• celebrated the 9th Anniversary of Café Mundi
• enjoyed food and LOUD mariachi music at Neuva Leon
• saw David Wain’s hilarious new film The Ten
• drove to Houston for my Grandparents’ 60th Anniversary!
• purchased a desk
• bought a book: Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations by Simon Rich (funny!)
• slept in
• fixed up a little Photos page for this here site
• ate a burger with my girl

Voila!

Quotopia
Freshly-picked quotes from the ol’ reference collection:

I want to be alone for a couple of hours to kind of assemble myself. Is that such an extraordinary thing to want?
Don Birnam, The Lost Weekend

Online Museum of the Week
Cassette Tape Culture:



Rhyme Thyme!
One clue whose answer consists of two rhyming words:

Hey, who read over this, cut out the boring parts, and fixed the language? I need to know who deserves the…

Highlight here for answer: [edit credit]

Upcoming Show(s)
Where can I see Southpaw in the flesh?

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
8:00 PM
Matt the Electrician & Southpaw Jones
Flipnotics at the Triangle
4600 Guadalupe
Austin, TX
(512) 380-0097
http://flipnotics.com
The New Weekly Show!